Monday, June 20, 2011

A leap of faith...

Why do we always fall back into a pattern?
Despite how much the past has left us such a bitter taste,
we always go back to that similar zigzag dotted swirls
even though we know it's just going to burn us in the end
Is it the familiarity of it?
Or rather is it the little drop of faith that this might be it
this might be the one to break the chain of pattern
Intellectual, attractive, spontaneous men, with a sense of humour,
do exist
or perhaps in my head, they do..
They're just not available
nor can they be found living within 680km radius of me
The potential ones, of course,
tend to be an email away or a better way to put it,
a 20-hour flight away
So really, let's face it, what the hell am I still doing here?

My problem, like my daily non-stop nail biting routine,
 it's become a habit of making the wrong choices
or for the fact that I have notstopped comparing the next guy I meet
to the only one I've ever fell for and lost many years ago
I'm over that, aren't I? ..or at least, I thought I have
The pattern has evolved into a trend
I can't seem to shake off
The type I desire do not exist here
The type that actually here are so not my cup of tea nor coffee!!
Funny how I'm still stuck in this never land of a dream
In my own little box that I can't seem to crawl out of
I know I'm not the most optimistic person
Hey, call me pessimistic
But let's face it, I'm realistic
There's only so much one can dream about
but there's a fine line between an over-dreamer, a realist
and probably..actual talent.

There's a reason why it's called a fairy tale
simply because it doesn't exist
we are never necessarily the princess with the happy ending
In fairy tales, the princess needed one true kiss to find her prince charming
In real life, we 'd have to kiss a number of frogs.. sometimes, toads too
and after all that, we're still searching..
In fairytales, there was a poison apple and an evil witch
In real life, there's a whole orchard of them and a train of bitches
whom you're going to bump into almost every single day of your life
and..we don't exactly have a castle to run back to
Fairytales tend to set a girl up for disappointments
In real life, the prince charming always rides off with the wrong princess
Realistically, we have to put our goggles on and start screening through them one by one
Wouldn't it be easier if our prince charming rode in with a pretty white horse
and a tag that says "THE ONE"..ha ha
then again, it wouldn't be much of a challenge, would it?
Maybe that's why I love to travel
It's a passion,
a reason to get away from reality
a reason to get away from everyone I know
It would be amazing to just leave, not tell a soul
and no wonder of the consequences
I love the thrills and the emotions
the rise I get from doing extreme nothings
the rush of blood to the head
standing at the edge of a cliff
before I take a leap of that freefalling faith
It's the relief of not caring about a thing in the world
and just enjoying the moment
But when it's over, I crawl back into the pattern of familiarity
called reality
I'm so afraid but I must break out of this rut soon
Is it really greener on the other side?
For starters, I know I have an amazing friend next to me
always holding on to my hand when I seem to be lost
I love my family
but I just can't be holding back
I want to know what's out there
What do I really want in life
My goals, my dreams..
There's a whole grapevine yard of hopes and dreams out there
I've caught a glimpse
just never had a chance to grab hold of my opportunities
and perhaps soon Ill learn to break out of the pattern
and stop comparing the next one to him
Maybe I've bumped into a certain individual recently
a breath of fresh air
a touch of confidence, a little motivation
did I stop to compare?
So near yet so far
It's an even bigger puzzle that I can't figure out
I stopped and paused for a second
if things seem too good to be true,
then he probably is..
I need a slap to wake me up from this daze
Is it strange that I feel excited, yet so afraid
It's much too early to tell
Sould I take one step back.. kick my heels and run?
But I guess it would be better
to leave it as it is...
Let nature take its course, oh! how easy that sounds..
Cause in all reality, I'm not even sure if my heart can handle any more sharp objects
This completely sucks...
For once, I want to be selfish
to be all about me
I will make this happen
sooner or later
It's just a matter of time
I can't stand this pattern no longer
I need a break
or I might just lose it
cause it seems I'm on the brink of it

Sometimes people run away to their past
cause it's familiar
we all do,
but maybe we should learn to let them go
I need a little push,
I need to snap out of this empty fantasy
and to discover what I can really do in the near future
Better to do it and regret
then never to have done it at all
It should be the new quote of mine
if I'm ever going to survive this jungle of life   :-)

Friday, June 3, 2011

......

Everything is more beautiful
when you know its not going to last
everything is more meaningful
when you know there's an end in time
Am I putting all my eggs in a basket
when I already know
there's a chance it might break

Am I wrong to chase
what I desire
Am I wrong to pursue
something thousands of miles away
someone who makes me smile
Oh god, please give me a sign
I rather know now
than keep living blind

They say its better to have been and regret
than never to have done it at all
But is it worth that risk of a long time heartache
I'm starting to slowly bleed
can I afford to take that fall.....

Friday, May 27, 2011

My sinful piece of candy...

It's like leaving a piece of candy
all covered in a pretty shiny wrapper
to resist or not to resist
quite the temptation
Have a little taste
and you'll probably want more
face the consequences soon after
Doesn't it sound familiar?
Boys are like candy..
so pretty so yummy
Who wouldn't want a taste?
But be careful..
The first melt might be as good as you'd expect
but like all sweet things...
you might get addicted
or rather disappointed, in fact...

As pretty as its wrapper
it might have a minty taste
Some packages may not be as bold
but a bite,
could cloud nine you out of this world
Cheap affordable candy
so loyal, so reliable
so boring
eventually tasteless...
Rare expensive sweets
one you've never tasted
once in your mouth
it tastes like heaven
but once it runs out
can you do without?

Unwrapping a candy
it's like solving a mystery
stick with chocolates
and you'll get all messy
So which candy are you in love with
they'r like shiny little sins
once you're done with them
they're nothing more than a toothache
giving you a bittersweet grin...

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

A harsh reality...

Whenver we give up something we really care about
somehow deep down
we hope the universe will reward our selfless choice
It may not always be fate
you'll just have to look out hard enough
and we'll find the answers
we've been searching for all along..

As fairytales do end
in which they always do
tourists pack their bags
return to their world
dreamers awake
to harsh reality mornings

There's nothing harder
than to face the hard fact
of having so perfect
slipped out of your hands
gone, the next..
What could be more beautiful
than something you knew you could never have
such envy do come swift
they hit you down so hard
can I afford the heartache
riding along with its pain
and regret...

Friday, April 29, 2011

In my shoes..

You can never really know someone
till you walk a mile in their shoes
as pretty as they are
they may not last
as expensive as they are
they may not fit
but, walk around long enough
you just might find
that it fits in like glue

Love is like the next pair of shoes
one always hoping that pair is the one
Just don't get too comfortable in them
cause one day you'l realise
the other shoe might just slip off..

Friday, April 22, 2011

Lost..

I keep looking through the glass pane
seeing a girl full of dreams and passion
somehow she kept knocking out loud
but nobody seems to hear her
where is this girl
how do I get her out
All she needed was a little push
a little inspiration
they come and go
as fast a drink fizzles out

I guess there's always a reason why
things never go the way you hoped
they take a turn for the better
or the worse
whatever the consequences
take it like a man
When things knock you down
learn to get back up
then maybe you'll figure out the reason soon enough

Why do I keep fixing things
that are already broken
why do I keep chasing things
that are never meant for me
why do I always fall for someone
I can never be with
Maybe I have yet to realise
I should just stop asking why
I can never know if I'll get what I want
but as the saying goes,
work hard enough
you'll eventually get what you need
and perhaps...
maybe that's more than enough..

A cold heart..

Wouldn't it be easier
if I was born with a cold heart
I wouldn't need to feel
I wouldn't fall apart
Couldn't I have been born with a heart of stone
my emotions unknown
I was missing an inspiration
then you came along
lighted a candle
melted my heart..

I knew you had to leave
Yet I still held your hand so tight
I knew I may never see your smile again
yet I still chose to be mesmerized
How many goodbyes do I have to get through
before my heart turns to ice
If I had a cold heart,
I wouldn't have to miss you
I could just not care
A short fairytale has ended
back to reality
who glanced at me
with an icy cold stare...

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

goodbye...

Lately I find myself saying goodbye
a lot more times than I would have liked
Even if it's for the best
It definitely hurts
Whatever the case,
chances are they are never going to stop
and we just have to learn to deal with it

Hurts to think about what we've given up
or what could have been
If its never meant to be, it never will
About damn time to clip off those wings

Eventually we all have to move forward
no matter how much our lives seems to be caving in
One day we'l recognise these goodbyes
is just a way to tell us to start afresh
it's all up to us to figure out
exactly when
letting go could necessarily lead to a good thing...

Monday, March 14, 2011

How much...

How much would you pay
to be with the one you love
how much would you risk
to chase the one you desire
everything in life has a price
everyone you want
carries a price tag
The real question is
how much can you afford to lose...

And, should you make the choice,
just think,
Was it worth
all that sacrifice
then again you never really know
if that was ever the right decision

With a choice, comes a sacrifice
for every sacrifice,
comes regret
because little do you know
that you're just about to pay
a lot more than the price tag
And before you realise it
its all too little too late...

Friday, February 18, 2011

unwritten....

People will believe what they want to believe
beyond all deceptions and lies
even if the truth
is staring right back at them in the eye
Why does it take so much to realise
once the dust settles,
and long been gone
we are all looking
at the same big picture,
all along...

We look from afar
the one that we yearn
never the same
as the fairytale
that was written
Fairytales set up a girl
only for disappointments
In the real world
the prince always
goes off with the wrong princess..

It's a cruel world we live in
road could be dark
journey unwritten..
Take a moment
step back and listen
Let's remember
everything happens for a reason...

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Disappointment...

disappointment..

Like the drought praying for the rain
all it got was more sun
Like bees searching for a flower
all it got was a wilting garden
Like the girl who waits for her love
all she got was bitter rejection




It doesn't take much for one
to expect disappointment
They just look you up
whenever you think
there's light at the end of a tunnel

When I watch you walk away
from what could avoid
a heart's dismay
anger and hate is all but subsided
Just like the rain in a drought
you're nothing
but a useless disappointment...

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Funny..how it is..

Funny how you meet someone for a day
and words kept flowing
a feel of genuine comfort
and just a touch of honesty
So funny how chemistry works
in its mysterious ways
ironically its just as hilarious
they are never the ones who stay
goodbye almost happens
the very next day

How could I be so smitten
with a charming someone
in just a day
or just a moment for say
and then he leaves
never again..
Funny how certain people
are here to stay
lingering around you
why can't they go away

Grass is always greener on the other side
how true is that saying
I now know why
I can't stop thinking about him
so strange yet so true
chemistry can be such a wonderful thing
just like fate,
a cruel one at that too....

Friday, January 7, 2011

When you kiss me...

When you kiss me
my heart flutters by
when you kiss me
the bluebirds stop their fly
when you kiss me
my whole world stops
oceans and the waves
I feel over the top

When you kiss me
you hug me so tight
when you kiss me
hold my hands
or my feet might take flight
when you kiss me in the car
things go out of sight
when you kiss me under the stars
they sparkle, shone so bright

When you kissed me goodbye
my tears start to flow
I wonder when the next kiss will come
I'll never really know
we lay down together
staring in each others' eyes
is the the goodbye kiss
we never wanted
or a part of our lives
when you kissed my lips
and said that you loved me
the universe paused
why did we..
I missed your kisses
will you come rescue me
beyond the rivers and oceans
kiss me again
underneath the little hawaiian tree...

Life is a consequence...

Life is an endless pavement
full of bumps and holes
sometimes we trip and fall
even with that little scratch
we pick ourselves up
and start our using brains more


A little trouble,
for a little attention
Eat your cake too
and be prepared for the lesson


If you can't bear the consequences
then don't start the problem
but if it does happen
suck it up
stop whining
for useless attention

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

a fine line between....


Love and hate
such a fine line
betrayal and distrust
two lethal words
once the dust settles
vengeance cannot be undone
Friendship and betrayal
lay hanging over the dotted line
all it takes of a broken friendship
is a moment of betrayal
just waiting.. and creeping
for that right time

Just like a single piece of glass
radiating in its elegance
one knock
it could all crash into pieces...
Take a microscope
peek into my heart
I'm as brittle as a glass
a little delusional
for my part
as much as I despise that side of me
to forgive is divine
to forget
it would take a while

So much I could say
but ignorance is bliss
If I had my way
it wouldn't be lovely..
But.. I'm fucking over it


They say
men are a dime a dozen
not worth the tears
they are probably right
they were never the king of my world
They say
friendships are not worth
losing over that dime of a dozen
but no more disillusions
once broken,
they ain't worth
any more
of my time
nor my compassion...



The end...

In the world I imagined
you would be there
In the world I pictured
you would be holding my hand
far too long time has passed
my door to that world
still lay in my head

Moments I want to throw the key
moments I want to banish
still I hang on to it
why am I still in love with you
when you're on the other side of the world
What would it take for you to realize
what I've longed realized
Iv hung on the believe
though we can never be
still I keep you a part of me
if I knew an end was inevitable
if I could turn back time
still..
I wouldn't change a thing